At last an interesting radio station

Since I converted by joining the 21st Century and using cheeky mp3 players and have confessed to owning an Ipod , I have not listened to anything much except my favourite compilations. This was until a couple of months ago when my cousin convinced me that there was a new Libyan FM radio station which was broadcasting pop and all sorts of other music all day long with some lighthearted show programmes. She even was willing to bet that I would not need my mp3 anymore. She herself does not take any CDs with her.

So I decided to take her advice and test this station while I'm driving on my errands. To my surprise it was very easy to get the frequency on the FM band, the music catered to every taste, classical Arabic, pop, top 10 etc.. there was the news flash, advertisements, the cute talk shows and phone- ins plus the occasionaly token official in interviews. Basically Allibiya FM delivered on all it's promises . It was especially good for going to and back from work and was reminescent of the popular Lebanese radio [station] Strike it had the good quality programming and wide target audience. In fact I think it has made listening to radio popular in Libya again and I notice now how many cars have their antennaes pulled up ( including me :P ).

On such a day last week, I chanced upon one of the shows where letters from fans with a problem are read and suggested solutions from other listeners are sought.


This is Isam's dilemna. While at university he met a lovely girl Nadia and they became pratically inseparable. They helped each other studying and got to know each other very well , fell in love and decided to get married after they graduate. So one fine day after graduation , she made an appointment with her family for him and he convinced his parents to ask for her hand. But despite all her reassurances to the contrary , Nadia's parents refused him. Why ? because he did not have a job, house, car etc..yet He begged and said he wanted to get engaged first and that he was going to have a job and start planning for a house etc.. But to no avail , they wanted what only perhaps an older man could provide or someone whose parents could get that for him.

Nadia and Isam started meeting in secret since their union was not blessed anymore ( this does not mean they were sleeping toghether by the way). He was looking for a job and she was busy refusing suitors. It got to the point where people started to doubt her chastity. In Libya if you refuse too much for too long the majority of people don't say you're being picky or looking for a soulmate.. oh no dirty minds start thinking that you probably played around and must have lost your virginity to some dude ; otherwise why would you refuse to get married , you probably feared getting 'discovered' on your wedding night!

So when a really good catch came to her, Isam who was still being refused by her parents and still had no decent job, decided to seek greener pastures in a different country. Maybe he could forget the love and not having him in her face would help her choose and end her dilemna. But Nadia got word of his plan and decided to commit suicide if he left. So he had to put that plan aside while she once more gave the boot to the 'good catch' . Nadia was not getting any younger and her family was disappointed .

Shortly after that her brother came to him and told him that Nadia's reputation was really destroyed and that he guarantees that if Isam would come and ask for her hand he will be well received and allowed to marry her this time. Apparently the whole area new about their romance which had dragged on for 10 years now.

But fate is weird, Isam's elder brother died in a horrible car accident leaving a young widow and three toddlers, so when after a decent time Isam asked his parents to go and visit Nadia's parents something unthinkable happened. His mum begged him literraly on her knees and asked him to marry his brother's widow so that no stepdad would harm the grandchildren and so that they and her are taken care of. Isam was livid just as his dream was within reach he was seeing it being stolen away. Did anyone even ask the widow if she would like to marry him? he was not interested he wanted his love he was crazy about Nadia, but his mother has begged , could he break her heart ? and could he break the heart of his love ? she has sacrificed her youth waiting for him. This really was a big problem, on the one hand , mother and family duty and 3 innocent lives, on the other hand the love of his life another innocent life. We Arabs fully believe that if your parents and especially your mum blesses you, you will be fine , we call it 'ridha alwalidein'. It is very important and drilled into our psyche and you do not want to incurr the wrath of your parents and God in the process, but still a promise is a promise.They have after all not told him to do anything bad , it is a common practice to marry the widow or the widower to the living sibling to keep the children in the family... Isam had plans , but God made different plans and his question was what should he do?
whom to marry ? was his sister in law even aware of the plot ?

I could see that it was a problem indeed and I wanted to hear what would the listeners suggest male and female.. Do you know what the solution suggested equally by both was ?
I was surprised myself as I was more inclined that he should marry the widow if she accepts him, because no one will love the kids more and she would not need to remarry. Although I was thinking that Nadia was in a tight spot too and it was not her fault. But the solution I heard and which seemed to me logical the instant it was stated is that he should marry both. The widow, for humanistic reasons and to please his mother and family but on the condition that they let him marry his love Nadia too since polygamy is allowed in extreme circumstances. The host was saying that Nadia may not accept a co-wife, and that since he loved Nadia he would not be fair in his love towards the other woman, and polygamy is allowed if you can be fair, physically as in the sexual relationship and materially and emotionally. Some were arguing that he will find a way to be fair...

If you knew that he is not breaking any laws by marrying them both, do you think Isam should make that choice? what do you think should he do ? I personally would love to know what happened and am waiting to find out how it will end. Incidently I have become a fan of Allibiya FM which it seems is available on satellite as well for listeners on other continents. Have you heard it abroad or regionally ?