Tuesday, November 21, 2006

So what happened ?

I still have enough arrogance to think that someone is actually interested about what happened to Highlander …

Well a few weeks ago I had the world at my feet (OK I like to think I did so humour me please). My year of planning and patience had culminated in a great job and the career turn that I was looking for. Other responsibilities at home and the big 'to do list' had miracle of miracles - YES been completed. I was looking forward to a lovely trip where “i”s would be dotted and “t”s crossed , so things were going to fall into place and last life changing decisions made – hell I was on a rollercoaster and unstoppable LOL – or so I thought ….

BUT the irony in LIFE is that things change course … yep . I like to think it is not Murphy’s Law, but DIVINE intervention. God in his wisdom has seen that I was blinded and moving on at 100 km/h and that I might have missed a few details here and there. I like to believe that He loves me and has decided to make me stop think and take stake of my options … He has always looked out for me, so whatever form his attention takes I have no reason to believe anything except that it is beneficial in the end ‘for those who can read the signs’.

And so that glorious weekend at the prime of my triumph I get struck by the proverbial thunder and presto find myself in a state of pure physical misery that would disgust even my own husband if I had any. …

From prospective hottie , to witch , someone to hide in shadows and nooks and cranies never to dare show herself to humans any more. A niqab was something to look forward to now, if I could ever have the strength to put on my own clothes even.

From there it was Dante straight down, and the misery of the soul was louder than the physical agony in between moments of lucidity not opacified by opiates.

It was in those moments where you learn who is with you and who is on the other bank watching you drown…and I guess that the moment you discern the outstretched hand you start sizing up your losses and gains. The comeback is painful but necessary and in addition to that you have to make validations and excuses for those who have none and yet have failed you . But they have the ultimate excuse, that of being human and humans most of the time are frail creatures who fear being sucked into pain and misery. So, in the midst of your own pain -you forgive them -as it is your rite of passage. Nevertheless, you vow not to count on them anymore ( at least you know the score for when the next big crisis comes - and crises sure will do as long as we live! ).

Meanwhile, you still have the outstretched hand and you hold to it tight and it guides you to the safe shore. That’s when the battle for your survival begins. Now you want to live and be healthy, because you have a reason to and you have decided that your life is worth living after all ! You still have a lot of things going for you and no it is not the end of the world, the 'stone that does not hit you actually makes you stronger’ (Arab proverb). So you realize that God wanted to bring your attention to something and he succeeded . HE’s got your full attention now so you better solve the mystery carefully ….
No you are not being punished, no you have nothing to be ashamed off and yes you will be absolutely fine. Just heed HIS message, and proceed to the RIGHT choice.

Well Highlander, is currently processing this info to make the necessary choice(s). She is just going to be very wise about them and not expect to be immortal, she will stop keeping a close lid on her emotions and being so sweet and tolerant to all at the risk of her own life.
Nobody and nothing is worth the hours I lay in bed pondering my own misery or even death ( beign a bit melodramatic here ), waiting for that touching moment of grace which in my naïveté I imagined would be coming from one place and funnily enough it came from the most unsuspected of places.

On this note I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your patience and for not having deserted me. And if you are reading up to this point and are not bored than you deserve a Nobel Prize for patience I swear.
OK ah so where was I ? ah on the eulogies :P

First and foremost NBA for his 24/7 monitoring by distance, Sereeb and Twosret for non-stop international phone calls, my mobiles never rang so much , my parents and the nurses thought it was a circus. A special note and a wink go to Craig for more or less beating the crap out of me and telling me to stop complaining and to start going out and exercising to defy my monsters..thanks buddy!
Then came that incredible email from darling Dhafer who basically said ‘ in whatever state you look like you are and will remain my Highlander…’ the rest is for my eyes only – but hey it managed to wake me up especially when he phoned to say that he was leaving kids , wife and job to come to the bed of a loony Highlander…with friends like these I can’t afford to die now can I?
The shocker was the roses by courier that preceded his arrival , I knew people sent flowers cross country or across continents by ‘interflora’ and other such agencies , but to Libya and to arrive here, Dhafer made miracles , but then he always does , someone
else simply beat me to him :P
Mad Canuck was also instrumental to my sanity in the first few days, he even was late for dinner at home once to nurse my bruised ego ( he he he ), and MB ( you know who you are) never stopped asking about me even though he was quite not so well himself. Smokey spice spent a weekend till the wee hours talking to me and keeping my head of depressing thoughts, and Adam forgot his own sorrows to call his Libyan friend. The list is long … but I would like to thank all of you my friends and readers, those I mentioned and those I have not for your loving mails and comments , from Australia to America, Alaska, and other continents . I never knew I had a fan base in Israel you guys are so discreet and silent :P
Honestly I also almost expected a phone call from the White House seeing they are occasional visitors.

The Palme d’Or though goes to the Lady of the House my mother , the one who dragged me out of the putrefied mass I was turning into and kicked my ass all black and blue . Thank you mum!

Now, I’m back to life , praying to be stronger and wiser.. I’ve still gotta make those choices, but hey now the choice is much much much easier…and sweet- If you thought you knew Highlander , then maybe you’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg or have not been paying any attention !

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
الحمد لله

Blogging will resume soon just not yet though - I'm still convalescing.

Love
Highlander

PS - I have replied to all in the previous posts too.

39 comments:

A.Adam said...

Hamdul'allah
الحمد لله
, and welcome back to blogger I was so worried

Curt from Houston said...

Highlander, welcome back. I have to say, I don't exactly know what to make of your preceeding commentary. If you were physcally ill, I wish you a speedy recovery. If you were mentally troubled, join the club! In any case, it's good to have you back.

Curt from Houston said...

physcally = physically. Sometimes my fingers go haywire.

Adam said...

Salam Uchti!
Glad to see you returning (or beginning to). Keep going, take your time, one step at at time. Keep getting stronger.

And as I said, get your sweet self out, and get some fresh air!

Anonymous said...

welcome back Highlander I hope your better now.

Anonymous said...

welcome back

wow, your return post is very cryptic, I'm still confused after the 3rd read over!

Lebeeya said...

Welcome back! We missed your posts!

Anonymous said...

Glad your back H. Misses ya big time.

Anonymous said...

I deserve a noble prize, I read all of your post :o)
I am so glad that your recovering and making a come back.
May Allah gives the strength to be stronger.
الحمد لله على سلامتك

maiuna said...

hey HighLander, welcome back!! we MISSED you alot!!!
and as Adam said "get your sweet self out, and get some fresh air!"

and inshallah everything will turn out just fine.

Adam said...

What I really meant to say was: "Get your sweet *** out, and get some fresh air" :)

red_enclave: From Behind Closed Doors said...

Highlander,

I'm glad you're doing much better. Whatever it is you're facing, emotionally or physically, I wish you all the best.

Fight it, I know you are strong, you have a strong spirit in you & you will be able to tackle whatever hardship faced.

Our lives are covered with challenges, full of obstacles, there is no such thing as a smooth journey, there is always a rocky path we have to go through. Whatever problems we face no matter how serious or small it is is just a sign or reminder from God to us.

The bottomline is we take everything in our stride.

Take care of yourself, it's important to keep your spirits up, emotionally balanced, physically fit & mentally sound

K from Oslo said...

Best wishes Highlander. Just remember to take care of yourself

Anonymous said...

حمدالله على سلامتك

Anonymous said...

Have you fallen for some kind of con?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back !

Twosret said...

Being a friend of yours is priceless. You are a true gem and I have done nothing to deserve a wonderful friend like you.

This entry is one of the best I have ever read. I will save it because time will heal and I will remind you of how inner strength is amazing and God's will is above all.

I wish I was closer to you physically but you know very well that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Twosret

Anonymous said...

Highlander

Out of curiosity are you even a Muslim? I mean you speak of god, and this and that, but the fact that you have Sandmonkeys link, a link which spews hatred towards Islam, Muslims, and The Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) shows us other wise. In truth I have yet to see where you stand on a whole ray of Issues, but let me make this clear no hatered is not welcome in Libya, I suggest you move to denmark, or claim some other form of National Identity if you wish to spew, and promote intolerant garbage.

Safia speaks said...

Good to see you´re back!

When I have a setback of that kind, I usually say to myself: "Don´t worry, Safia, in a few months time you´ll think back at this, and you´ll laugh your head off."

Which I always do..

white african said...

welcome back and 7amdallah 3al salamah.

if life throws tings at you, embrace it and work around it and you will be just fine inshallah

Sereeb said...

My Darling,

I’m over the moon that you are feeling better. Please don’t tire yourself and take your time to recover. I’m sorry I didn’t call you the last few days, but you’ve been in my mind and prayers 24/7.
Thanks to the Merciful of His mercy.
An extra large hug
Soad

Anonymous said...

Happy Thanks Giving and take care.

lovelytripoli said...

Be Sure Allah loves you ,and that is why he save you..
That is what i still wishing for you..
Fi 7efd Allah...

Maya M said...

I am very glad that you're back and don't need a niqab.
To the Anonymous who commented between Twosret and Safia - why don't you go drown yourself?

Mckenzie said...

Lovely Highlander:

Thank you for you comment on my blog. I've not been about for a long while, it feels-- trying to recover and such, but appreciate your concern, and I have kept you in my prayers as well.

Being able to read over your blog today was a good thing. I know we come from different countries and faiths, but our love for God is the same, and what you wrote was a nice reminder to me that His will is best-- even when I don't understand.

Keep getting better.

Your friend,

Mckenzie

tommy said...

I hope whatever happened wasn't too serious. Sorry to hear about it. Glad you are feeling better.

Trabilsia said...

Welcome back , Highlander !
Ah it's so good to have you back. We really missed you.

Take Care and have a wonderful day !

programmer craig said...

Highlander, very mysterious post! I'm confused even though I've been talking with you! Well, anyway, it's good to see you able to at least start to blog again, my dear.

Out of curiosity are you even a Muslim?

Didn't you mean to say "out of spite" there? What religion are you pretending to be? :P

I just *love( self-righteous hate-mongers who think they are close to God. )

Anonymous said...

I think its a great question. H has showed us time and time again evidence that would prove otherwise. In many ways I would think of her as a Muslim Uncle Tom. No offense, but thats just the way I see things. Its no shame, all Arabs are traitors, its in their blood, they are all theifs, perverts,and blood thirsty criminals. H is little more then a Propogandist in my assumption.

Curt from Houston said...

"I think its a great question. H has showed us time and time again evidence that would prove otherwise. In many ways I would think of her as a . No offense, but thats just the way I see things. Its no shame, all Arabs are traitors, its in their blood, they are all theifs, perverts,and blood thirsty criminals. H is little more then a Propogandist in my assumption."

All Arabs are traitors? What the flying flip are you talking about?
Arabs have some world class problems, but I seriously doubt that you can blanket Highlander with the label traitor. If anything, she has put up with the likes of Programer Craig, Curt from Houston and Libyan Warrior. For that alone, she deserves a medal. Just the fact that I can post my honest thoughts on Highlander's blog gives me hope for humanity.

Anonymous said...

Its no shame, all Arabs are traitors

Interesting claim coming from an American guy who has treasonous materials posted on his blog, isn't it? The "support our troops" logo in reference to Iraqi terrorist insurgents is particularly interesting. Aid and comfort to the enemy. Enjoy your time in prison, LibyanWarrior. At least you won't be in prison in Libya. That's good, right?

Sareeb, if you are reading... would you say that this creature is a good muslim?

Highlander said...

A.Adam thank you :)

Curt from Houston , I am physically ill , but then coincidentally I got emotionally hurt so it was compounded . Thank you for asking.

Adam :) Salam , I'm trying to listen to your advice

anonymous 2.55 . Thank you I am better now

Chris in MB , thanks , he he he Highlander is full of mystery ...

Lebeeya :) thank you I missed you all as well .

The Libyan observer ( LW ? ) you confuse me how can you miss me and yet insult me at the same time ? Love=hate :P

Anglo Libyan :) you deserve a Nobel along with all the other readers who finished the post AND commented :)

Maiuna :) thank you yes inshallah it is going to turn all for the better. "wa 3assa an takrahu shay'an .."

Redenclave :) thank you very much for this touching advice - as soon as I controlled the emotional side the physical side started to get better ..

K from Oslo :) thank you so much my friend.

Soraya , تسلاميلي يا حق والله اشتقتلك

Shlemazl :) what made you think of this ? con ? no way I hope I never do either ...

Libyanviolet :) thanks

Twosret my dear :x you know how much you and your family mean to me. TGod is omnipotent and time heals all wounds yes ...

Anonymous 2.25 thank you for visiting this blog.

Safia :) thank you , I'm sure I'll look back and inshallah not forget the lessons I learned. Because that's what we do when the crisis is over and if I don't learn from my mistakes then I deserve whatever happens then.

white African :) thank you , that's what happened when I embraced it and did not fight it - things started to clear.

Sereeb sweetie :x lovely new profile pic :P big hug right back at you , you are in my prayers as well as you know .

Kirsten well thank you :) and thank you for visiting my blog as well.

Lovelytripoli :) thank you so much for these words my dear.

Maya M :) thank you , yes I'm glad I don't need a niqab either it was looking forward too. I guess God has been merciful !

Summers Child :) why that was a lovely sweet message my friend, well being able to read you posting as well is truely heartening after all you went through yourself. Wishing you lots of lovely days. Health is the best gift everything else can be acquired again as long as we have one's health!

Tommy :) thank you , it was serious but thankfully I'm past the worst now .

Trabilsia :) thank you - I seriously missed you all .

Programner_Craig thanks my dear :P
as for the anonymous he/she says he is Muslim , and according to him/her I'm not (sigh).

Libyan Warrior( I am too lazy to logo into Beta) said...

Why no craig the nice support our troops logo is nothing more then support for American Soilders coming from the Muslim American Community.

When Will WASP Americas Hatred stop.
1. 6 Imams in Western Cloathing arrested for being Muslim and Brown.
2. Kramers racist Statements
3. Young Black Man shot 50 times in a parking lot for no reason other then being black.
4. Iranian Student electrecuted for being Brown.
5. Prusian Blue making Billboard.

STOP WHITE CHRISTIAN AMERICAS HATE.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you LibyanWarrior. Tell it to the FBI that crap about "support our troops" along with a reference to Iraqi "freedom fighters" as being in support of AMERICAN trooops, asshole. That's strait up fucking treason, and I hope you get charged with it and sent to prison where you can explain to all the big ugly tattooed guys about how you don't really mean all this stuff but you just have ADD and they should let you slide.

I submitted your blog and your myspace to teh FBI terrorism tip site. I hope they are watching you. I hope they get you. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. You deserve prison.

Anonymous said...

OMG, Dude i am sooo scared. ;)

Iraqi "freedom fighters"

Uhh no where on my banner did it say "Iraqi". You must be getting flash backs and mixing thing up again ;) Taken your meds latley?

submitted your blog and your myspace to teh FBI terrorism tip site. I hope they are watching you

Dude thanx for the free promotion craig. I can always use new fans.

Anonymous said...

Oh P.S president bush did call our honerable soilder freedom fighters.

I am shcoked and appauled, that you would think of me as the sort of individual who is a traitor. Is it because I am muslim? Is it because I am a Berber? When will the racism and hatred of my people stop. Did rosa parks get arrested for nothing? We are Americans too ya know.

Anonymous said...

Whatever. You aren't fooling anybody. Nobody is going to believe that a shot of an insurgent with an AK-47 in his hands superimposed on an Iraqi flag described as a "Freedom Fighter" refers to American troops, shithead. You deserve prison and that's what you're gonna get when they catch you. I have ZERO sympathy for you because you're a 20 year old. So are the guys in the US military who you have betrayed.

Anonymous said...

Is it because I am muslim? Is it because I am a Berber?

PS-it's because you ARE a traitor. Aid and comfort to the enemy. That's the definition of treason. If you were a white woman and did what you do, you'd be just as much a traitor. The fact that you are a young middle-eastern muslim male means that you area traitor AND a terrorism suspect. That's just the way it is. Deal with it. In court.

Anonymous said...

Nobody is going to believe that a shot of an insurgent with an AK-47 in his hands superimposed on an Iraqi flag described as a "Freedom Fighter" refers to American troops, shithead.

You fucking Liar thier was never a picture like that, their was a black pasted page with a ak and a support our troops logo above it. No mention of Iraq or any of the above. ALL OF MY PHOTOS ARE SAVED ON THE SEVER MOTHER FUCKER. Your above comments describing a photo which does not exist, proves that you whole agenda is purely done in wikid intent. I have called the ACLU, The NAACP( yes north africa according to them is a Coloured region) and CAIR, and lodged a complaint, and notifies them of your malicouse "report". And your Christian Fundamentlist, white Supremisist attempt to stop freedom of speach. I welcome law enforcement, I am a upright citzen, and when I am greated with the FBI's precense, they are lovley heros of our nation, who soped you evil brother timmity from killing more of my fellow coloureds, I will have them track your I.P address down and arrest your false and malicouse reports.( It happenes everyday craig, even if you where a Middle Eastern women make false reports about people. )

I have ZERO sympathy for you because you're a 20 year old.

I dont know what my age has to do with you having sympathy towards me. I am in no need for your sympathy rodent. White Christrian America has never had any sympoathy towards anyway one. Theyt took small black children, nailed them to crosses and burned them alive.

The US government is monitoring this blog on a non-stop basis, which is something i am glad they are doing, seeing that you just made up a flase accusation, not to mention they have already visited my blog tons of times, if they have a need to talk to LW, they mearly have to ask, and I would be more then willing to cooperate with the LAW. See unlike you savage immigrants from Europe, the lovley immigrants from North Africa instill our young with strong moral values, leadership mindsets, and a complete and total respect for authority, thats what my mom and dad though me, I see no one except Evangelical Anglos stiring shit on campus.

young middle-eastern muslim male means that you area traitor AND a terrorism suspect.

This statement PROVES my point on the Euro-Christian Americans Bias. Because I am a " Young middle Eastern Male" I am already automatically a traitor. No if and or buts about it and I am also a suspect of terrorism.

1. I am not Middle Eastern I am North African. I have never been to the Middle East, I am not semetic, I do not have any Middle Eastern blood. I am a Berber my bloodline is composed primarly of 60% Northwest African Upper Paleolithic, 23% Neolithic, and 17% historic European gene flow.

2. I dont get you ethnicity wrong WASP so dont get mine. Remember you are not in Europe, you are in America, this land belongs to the mayan people, and its geust the rest of the Non-European people of the world. The Quicker you learn this, and stop sending my fellow non-european brothern to fight you wars because you are to cowerdly to send you own kids, you son of a bitch. How dare you, you mother fucker, how dare you accuse me of treason you worthless peice of GARBAGE. You are guilty of treason, you send the poor coloured children to die, while your little european children make racial slurs at the handicapped african American, and hispanic soilders left, European children rape the little black and hsipanic women,(like in the duke case, why didnt micheal savage call that poor girl, a "dirty filthy venomous black whore") while their men are away dying for you oil, you greedy european pig. You Should be arrested for TREASON.