So what happened ?

I still have enough arrogance to think that someone is actually interested about what happened to Highlander …

Well a few weeks ago I had the world at my feet (OK I like to think I did so humour me please). My year of planning and patience had culminated in a great job and the career turn that I was looking for. Other responsibilities at home and the big 'to do list' had miracle of miracles - YES been completed. I was looking forward to a lovely trip where “i”s would be dotted and “t”s crossed , so things were going to fall into place and last life changing decisions made – hell I was on a rollercoaster and unstoppable LOL – or so I thought ….

BUT the irony in LIFE is that things change course … yep . I like to think it is not Murphy’s Law, but DIVINE intervention. God in his wisdom has seen that I was blinded and moving on at 100 km/h and that I might have missed a few details here and there. I like to believe that He loves me and has decided to make me stop think and take stake of my options … He has always looked out for me, so whatever form his attention takes I have no reason to believe anything except that it is beneficial in the end ‘for those who can read the signs’.

And so that glorious weekend at the prime of my triumph I get struck by the proverbial thunder and presto find myself in a state of pure physical misery that would disgust even my own husband if I had any. …

From prospective hottie , to witch , someone to hide in shadows and nooks and cranies never to dare show herself to humans any more. A niqab was something to look forward to now, if I could ever have the strength to put on my own clothes even.

From there it was Dante straight down, and the misery of the soul was louder than the physical agony in between moments of lucidity not opacified by opiates.

It was in those moments where you learn who is with you and who is on the other bank watching you drown…and I guess that the moment you discern the outstretched hand you start sizing up your losses and gains. The comeback is painful but necessary and in addition to that you have to make validations and excuses for those who have none and yet have failed you . But they have the ultimate excuse, that of being human and humans most of the time are frail creatures who fear being sucked into pain and misery. So, in the midst of your own pain -you forgive them -as it is your rite of passage. Nevertheless, you vow not to count on them anymore ( at least you know the score for when the next big crisis comes - and crises sure will do as long as we live! ).

Meanwhile, you still have the outstretched hand and you hold to it tight and it guides you to the safe shore. That’s when the battle for your survival begins. Now you want to live and be healthy, because you have a reason to and you have decided that your life is worth living after all ! You still have a lot of things going for you and no it is not the end of the world, the 'stone that does not hit you actually makes you stronger’ (Arab proverb). So you realize that God wanted to bring your attention to something and he succeeded . HE’s got your full attention now so you better solve the mystery carefully ….
No you are not being punished, no you have nothing to be ashamed off and yes you will be absolutely fine. Just heed HIS message, and proceed to the RIGHT choice.

Well Highlander, is currently processing this info to make the necessary choice(s). She is just going to be very wise about them and not expect to be immortal, she will stop keeping a close lid on her emotions and being so sweet and tolerant to all at the risk of her own life.
Nobody and nothing is worth the hours I lay in bed pondering my own misery or even death ( beign a bit melodramatic here ), waiting for that touching moment of grace which in my naïveté I imagined would be coming from one place and funnily enough it came from the most unsuspected of places.

On this note I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your patience and for not having deserted me. And if you are reading up to this point and are not bored than you deserve a Nobel Prize for patience I swear.
OK ah so where was I ? ah on the eulogies :P

First and foremost NBA for his 24/7 monitoring by distance, Sereeb and Twosret for non-stop international phone calls, my mobiles never rang so much , my parents and the nurses thought it was a circus. A special note and a wink go to Craig for more or less beating the crap out of me and telling me to stop complaining and to start going out and exercising to defy my monsters..thanks buddy!
Then came that incredible email from darling Dhafer who basically said ‘ in whatever state you look like you are and will remain my Highlander…’ the rest is for my eyes only – but hey it managed to wake me up especially when he phoned to say that he was leaving kids , wife and job to come to the bed of a loony Highlander…with friends like these I can’t afford to die now can I?
The shocker was the roses by courier that preceded his arrival , I knew people sent flowers cross country or across continents by ‘interflora’ and other such agencies , but to Libya and to arrive here, Dhafer made miracles , but then he always does , someone
else simply beat me to him :P
Mad Canuck was also instrumental to my sanity in the first few days, he even was late for dinner at home once to nurse my bruised ego ( he he he ), and MB ( you know who you are) never stopped asking about me even though he was quite not so well himself. Smokey spice spent a weekend till the wee hours talking to me and keeping my head of depressing thoughts, and Adam forgot his own sorrows to call his Libyan friend. The list is long … but I would like to thank all of you my friends and readers, those I mentioned and those I have not for your loving mails and comments , from Australia to America, Alaska, and other continents . I never knew I had a fan base in Israel you guys are so discreet and silent :P
Honestly I also almost expected a phone call from the White House seeing they are occasional visitors.

The Palme d’Or though goes to the Lady of the House my mother , the one who dragged me out of the putrefied mass I was turning into and kicked my ass all black and blue . Thank you mum!

Now, I’m back to life , praying to be stronger and wiser.. I’ve still gotta make those choices, but hey now the choice is much much much easier…and sweet- If you thought you knew Highlander , then maybe you’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg or have not been paying any attention !

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
الحمد لله

Blogging will resume soon just not yet though - I'm still convalescing.

Love
Highlander

PS - I have replied to all in the previous posts too.