Friday, January 01, 2010

Highlander & 2009

2009 was a very special year to me despite the Eid Al Adha fiasco which we will revisit soon but not today…

Last year witnessed some major changes on a personal scale, for the first time in decades New Year resolutions formulated at the start of the year have been fulfilled and are ongoing.

How many of you have stuck to your new year resolutions?

Out of five resolutions, I have undertaken four and have started planning the fifth. I succeeded in three and though the fourth was a failure, I count it as successful also because I broke the ice and did it. This means there is nothing to stop me trying again now. Number 5 is the path to the spirit …

I think that’s why regardless of the bad moments I still feel great and elated. Yes I do…. I am fitter and healthier than I have been for a long time.

2009 began sadly with the loss of our wonderful cat ; but shortly after I’ve met with my best friend in London and we enjoyed every minute; a visit that will be forever engraved in my memory. I met another great friend in Libya and it was such fun seeing him again.

This is the year were more friendships were hatched but others were lost, but this is the first time I no longer feel sad about lost friends because if they were friends they would not be gone. In fact what brought it home was a status message on Facebook “ I have trimmed my list of friends today” and one comment said “ I guess I made it”, well I made it too obviously because I was reading the message and the comments but it opened my eyes that I needed to do a major inventory in my own life. My address book was overflowing and sometimes I could no longer put a face to a name. So there has been an overhaul in that area too, and you know what ? It did not hurt one bit !!!! guess it gets easier with age or is it with maturity?

Did you revise your friendship database ?

This is the year I bought my own house, I don’t live in it but it’s still mine !

How many of you own your own house without being in debt?

I visited unexplored lands and revisited some old favourites.

Did you travel in 2009 and where ?

This is the year Highlander has stopped being starry eyed at work and is now very much office politics savvy. There is no stopping me and the sky’s the limit….

What are your feelings about your job ?

2009 brought a lot of blessings, parents and siblings and nieces and nephews are good despite a close call at a certain period. Hamdillah I am satisfied and grateful!

The year literally ended beautifully! Though the ONE is not yet here, it came as a surprise to be asked in marriage by someone who was born when I was in high school.

Did I accept the offer? Read on to find out .. He is Libyan, young, handsome, smart and has a good job, he has a house and a farm (Libyans will know what I mean), and his mum actually likes me. No he does not speak English and I never met him before but apparently he has been watching me and following me for a couple of months and he just thought I was full life and so cute (his words!). Then he spoke to a common friend of the family who told my mum. My mum told me and I agreed to see him. Then his mother made the first visit to us at home. The second visit he came with her and the common family friend to speak with me. He did not believe me when I told him my age, yet decided to still go ahead with the proposal. For a Libyan man this is surprising but also flattering to me. Because knowing Libyan guys they always go for the youthful pretty face. Even a 25 year old would want his wife to be a minimum of 5 years younger, while guys in their 40s were marrying girls straight from high school. The only exception would be if she was rich and loved him then it would be a marriage of convenience for him.

But I told him, I don’t think it’s a good idea, maybe your immediate family won’t mind but the society would not leave you alone. He told me the Prophet PBUH married Lady Khadija and she was way older than him? Yes that’s true but I would not want something that started so sweetly to end as another statistic. You like me now and think I would probably be a great wife for you. But at some point I will grow old and will stop looking like this and you will still be young. Also we do not share the same interest that would bond us, our pasts are different, I could relate to your things, but you will not be able to relate to mine. Everything is kismet and nasseeb and yours and mine will come someday!

Do you feel and act your ‘supposed’ age?

My friends of course think I blew a good catch, but I don’t think so, you know why?

My ego was over the moon, it meant that right now I looked as I did back in high school, I know that’s narcissist but I would indeed be a hypocrite if I did not say I enjoyed the attention. It was also lovely that he still wanted me after knowing my real biological earth age.

That was God’s masterstroke, a grand finale to an interesting year. God has indeed mysterious ways but he sure knows how to get his message across!
His message was beautiful and full of mercy. It has shown me that if I had for any moment lost confidence in anything, He was watching out for me. I realised that what I thought were wrongs were merely thorns that prickled because I allowed them. What do you do with thorns, you remove them and throw them away and that was that. The little graze is not even worth a second look !

Welcome 2010! This is the year where I hope to visit God’s House, this is the year where I don’t have any resolutions because I have achieved them all. As for wishes we all have them but I won’t tell you mine those are secret and only the Most Merciful knows them.

Happy New Year


ibeebarbie said...

Salam Highlander,

I so love reading your post---you so eloquently put together thoughts, ideas and feelings that I share similarly in my own life. Although, admittedly, I've not had a younger fellow propose---so you've one up'd me there. ;-)

Thank you for sharing the recounting of your early filled with many blessings and blessings in disguise as well. Congratulations to you on your achievements as well as your willingness to continue to grow and expand.

I know many, myself definitely included, are blessed to be a part of your life if only through the wonderful world of blogging.

Highlander said...

Ibeebarbie, your message is so beautiful that I am dumbfounded and have no idea what to reply.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please know that you are one of the humans I very much admire and if circumstances were different I would have loved to meet you.

Inshallah maybe one day.

Anonymous said...

Oh Wow! You certainly are full of surprises! Your decision to turn down such an offer, was I suppose the right one for you. But to have that kind of moral strength, to resist the temptation. Impressing!

Yeah, I did few nice trips last year, you might have heard of some of them. A really good one was to Carvoeirio, Portugal. Check it out, sorry for the lazy-link but I am truly fed up with Blogger:

As for New Years resolutions, I made one many years ago. To never make another one! I have kept it ever since :)

Highlander said...

Hey thanks Adam, I'm impressed with your trips. Smart move regarding no new year resolutions you avoid disappointments ..

If I loved the guy I would have probably braved the society norms, but not religious norms. However, since I don't love him and he is simply a good proposal then the headache is not worth it. LOL I'm sure my parents wish I said yes though. I have run out of excuses :P

Brave Heart said...

Dear HL
I agree with Ibee, your post always great and im enjoying reading them.
I think it was a brave decision from both of you, the only thing I can say, Im happy that clever Libyan men still exist.
I revise my friendship database and it was exactly as u said, there are many names which I could figur out who they are.
I dont have my own house which is shame
I only travelled to Italy In October and to Libya in January
my feeling towards my job place is horrible, I cant imagane my feeling when Ill leave it.

my only resolution of 2010
is HOPING, WISHING to meet you if u have chance to come to London.

may allah bless u and ur family and have wonderful and successful year inshallah.

Highlander said...

LOL Braveheart not sure about the clever Libyan men bit :P:P:P

Sorry to hear you don't like your workplace sometimes this happens once you get bored in a job?

Thanks for your good wishes and may Allah grant you the other wish too :P

Hb said...

i know it is late,but happy new year dear sister :)

Maya M said...

If you want to change the windows of your house, be careful!
We put in our house windows with PVC frames, for better insulation.
The insulation did improve, but now we are growing moulds inside the house. And nobody warned us about this until it was too late!
So I am warning you as a new homeowner, thouth the problem may not exist in Libya's climate.

Highlander said...

Thanks Hb and the same to you :)

Thanks also Maya not sure about the mould problem I would say we lack insulation here. However, my window frames are wooden..