The People we call friends: of 'Morals & Behaviour'

I was fumbling through my drafts and found this very old post that I never got round to publish, so I told myself why not? today is as good as any other day...

Our ancestors left a rich heritage of proverbs, fables, stories , biographies so that we may learn from their experience and have a shortcut to wisdom. Problem is we forget and we never learn until it is too late. Or until as the Arabs say 'ilfas i'a3 fil ras ', translation : the hatchet falls on the head.

Highlander is blessed to have some people who are 'real' friends, those people who have stood the test of time- true soulmates, she has also made some more along the way whom she believed would grow to that upper echelon. But we need to remmember our wise ancestor and not be totally naive. Why ? because the friends who leave you when the good times are over .. when you really need their support have never been and will never be friends. Maybe we are better off this way. Finding out the truth late is better than never.

So why don't we ponder those pearls of wisdom:

Note : men = human beings here and not gender.

"Do not expect any help in return from anyone except God the Almighty and Great. As you go on your way always remember that the first person you help will be the first to do harm and turn against you. Indeed, because of their profound jealousy, men of bad character detest those that help them when they see that the latter are better off."

"The definition of friendship: [it is the middle point] between two extremes.What makes one friend sad makes the other sad too. What makes one happy makes the other happy too. Any relationship less than this is not friendship. Anyone who answers to this description is a friend. A man may be the friend of someone who is not his friend for a man can love someone who hates him. This is the case above all with fathers and their sons, brother and brother, husband and wife, and all those in whom friendship has become burning love. Not every friend is a counsellor although every counsellor, by giving advice shows himself to be a friend."

"If you find excuses for selfish and greedy men and shut your eyes to their faults, you are not displaying humanity or virtue. On the contrary, it is a base and feeble thing to do which encourages them to continue in their bad attitudes, it applauds and supports them in their wicked actions. Such indulgence would only be humane when displayed towards the just who are quick to pardon and to act unselfishly. In that case it is an obligation for a good man to behave in the same way towards them, above all if they have an urgent need of such tolerance, and if it is more necessary for them"

If you are interested in more check Ibn Hazm al-Andaloosee 's : Morals and Behaviour , and the whole list about friends here.

Some Arab proverbs which I like :

A foolish man may be known by six things: Anger without cause, speech without profit, change without progress, inquiry without object, putting trust in a stranger, and mistaking foes for friends.

A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot; a dog traveling with good men becomes a rational being.

Arrogance diminishes wisdom.

and finally The wound of words is worse than the wound of swords.