Friday, January 18, 2008


Is a state in which all hope is lost or absent; but would the wish/need to escape that state lead to the employment of extreme measures ? is death the only exit ?

This loss of hope feels strange since the people in your entourage see that your life is full of success on all levels. Yet you know better because you have spent a whole afternoon thinking with whom you could share this and mentally crossing out the people from your list because someone had become the sole list.

You project the image of an enchanted life, yet you bleed inside since that faithful day, a day which you kept postponing although you knew that sooner or later it was going to happen.
You pray and dream that you have died everynight you go to bed only to wake up to the same reality: that of the thorns that started to encircle your heart and the ice that is creeping in..


Benghazi Citizen said...

(Yet you know better because you have spent a whole afternoon thinking with whom you could share this and mentally crossing out the people from you list because someone had become the sole list)
How beutifully written ,how deeply expressed..
Those who envy you for successes and achievementw would feel sorry for you if they knew what you had to give up to get there..
How sad it is to leave those you care about behind..
How sad that work and obession with the future will some times leave you empty inside..
Best regards my friend

a_akak said...

I believe us as people are very good in putting on a mask which protects us from people or it protects people from knowing whats happening within us ... people see what you have but you only see what you dont have ... plus sometimes we dont want to show our weakness and pain as pain shows weakness or that is what people think

Fe Aman allah

Maya M said...

You can check my blog.

Anonymous said...

"La yukallifu lLahu nafsan ila wusahaa."

Believe me, I know.

Hiba said...

Be Happy Dear sister..
and Everyone of us have the same feeling that u have ,the same thinking..
But..we still fighting For 2morrow

Brave Heart said...

no life without ups and downs, it's our choice to how we deal with it, we can not expect everything been ideally. there is totally difference between real and ideal life my friend and i think u stronger than reaching to death solution. believe me there is always a hope somewhere.
Take care

Desert Rose said...

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.

Socrates (BC 469-BC 399)
Welcome to the club !
Highlander I understand exactly how you feel my dear.
Sometimes I too feel that death is the only exit but then pray for my sanity to not leave me, as its a coward's way out and bring myself to try harder. Life is a rollercoaster ride exciting and scary. Sweet and sour, they say , but I believe it's the sourness that we cant sometimes deal with, which tends to overtake the sweetness by a long shot.....
As soon as I'm happy for whatever purpose, it seems I have to pay a price and BANG there goes my happy hour !Pay up time says life!
I have come to a point where I dont want/expect to be happy as happiness is for all but me...this is what keeps me going.
I hope you feel better soon dear.