Monday, September 18, 2006

The signs of love - A Muslim philosopher's view

"A man in love will give prodigally to the limit of his capacity, in a way that formerly he would have refused; as if he were the one receiving the donation, he the one whose happiness is the object in view; all this in order that he may show off his good points, and make himself desirable. How often has the miser opened his pursestrings, the scowler relaxed his frown, the coward leapt heroically into the fray, the clod suddenly became sharp-witted, the boor turned into the perfect gentleman, the stinker transformed himself into the elegant dandy, the sloucher smartened up, the decrepit recaptured his lost youth, the godly gone wild, the self-respecting kicked over the traces – and all because of love! [..]
You will see the lover, when unsure of the constancy of his loved one’s feelings for him, perpetually on his guard in a way that he never troubled to be before; he polishes his language, he refines his gestures and his glances, particularly if he has the misfortune and mischance to be in love with one given to making unjust accusations, or of a quarrelsome disposition. "

Read more and tell me do you agree with Ibn Al Hazm's analysis ?
How many of these signs have you experienced and do you have more to add ?

21 comments:

programmer craig said...

I think some parts of that may be culture specific. Other aprts may be universal. I think most Chinese women (I know a lot of Chinese women who have gotten married in the last 15 years or so) would be highly disapproving of a man who threw his money around, even if he was doing it to win her affections. Maybe to the point where she would exclude him as a potential husband. American culture is somehwat similar, but not because we are so fixated on material success, but more because of the women't liberation movement of the 60s and 70s. Many (but not all) American women feel that a man who is trying to buy her affections (or appears to be) is treating her like a prostitute. But theer are many American women who don't feel this way, and love to be spoiled :)

I haven't read the entire link yet, I'll comment more later on. Interesting topic, how did we get here? :)

Curt from Houston said...

I think that it is pretty much a universal truth that love can make a fool out of just about any man. The same can be said for women as far as I've been able to tell.

Libyan Warrior( KING OF AL-ANDLUS) said...

Intresting Post highlander.
Kudos!

Chris in MB said...

Yup, this is me alright:

"the boor turned into the perfect gentleman,"

"the stinker transformed himself into the elegant dandy," , and

"he polishes his language,"

But no need for that sh!t anymore! Hahaha!
After a couple years we tend to revert back to the previous state & relax.

BTW, women also do this!

Chris in MB said...

sorry, that did sound a little pessimistic didn't it.

Well, one lesson to be learned is to enjoy the initial infatuation while it lasts.

programmer craig said...

Well, one lesson to be learned is to enjoy the initial infatuation while it lasts.

Absolutely, Chris! That's what makes life worth living :)

Tsedek said...

Highlander girl:

Some of the Egyptian bloggers are saying there is a rumor that Sand Monkey was arrested and detained upon his return from the US and is now being held at the Torah Mazra3a prison in Cairo? Can any one confirm this? I am getting quite worried about him…

Adam said...

http://www.sandmonkey.org/2006/09/20/rumors-of-my-arrest/#comments

Highlander said...

Tsedek you already got an answer on SM's blog and Adam put the link here too . It's nice of you to care but I assure you that in my opinion Sandmonkey is more clever than to put himself in a position to be arrested. We wish him all the best in his endeavours. Amen :)

Highlander said...

Programmer_Craig :) interesting points you bring up , American women feal cheap if a man wishes to spoil them ? hmmm
Actually Hazm was trying to make the point that when in love nothing is too expensive for the loved one. Also he said 'man' which does not necessarily mean 'male' , the masculine adjective/pronoun is usually used in the not PC times of old that's all . However he also said that people act foolishly etc... when in love and whole lot of signs... Enjoy reading the rest of the essay when you can :)


Curt yes I agree with you , we even have a saying in Arabic : yidrab il 7ob shu bi dhil - i.e "Damn love for the way it humbles a person"

Libyan Warrior , hey you have nothing to say about love ?

Chris in Manitoba :) I had to look up boor in the dictionary

Adam and Tsedek any input about Love ?

programmer craig said...

Programmer_Craig :) interesting points you bring up , American women feal cheap if a man wishes to spoil them ?

No, I was only speaking of money, there are other ways to spoil women, and to impress them too :)

And there's no "cultural norm" here in the US anyway, it's just an issue that makes life that much more difficult for guys :O

Even opening doors for some women can get a guy in trouble here. But other women will be highly offended if you don't do all the things expected of a Gentleman. We just can't win. But we keep trying anyway.

Adam said...

Hi all blogga-brothaz n sistaz!
If you wanna read Highlanda'z blogizzle in a new way I know how. Just-a-clicka here.
Make sure you read them Xchangez between deala Craig n'dat Libyan Wizzle & Maya da M missuz.

Craps out a bit in IE but workz grandly in Firefox.

Adam said...

"Fizzy LANGUAGE SHALL BE DELETED"

LOL!

Libyan Warrior( KING OF AL-ANDLUS) said...

lol. Yeah I have a view on love Highlander.lol. I am a hopeless romantic. i belive in true love. i will give anything and everything to a girl I love, if I dont have it i will do everything POSSIBLE to get it for her. Their is no such thing as being played as a fool in love. Its all worth it.

As far as the womens liberation movement is conserned, it had nothing to do with liberation. it was a massive soco-psychological brainwashing technique used to exploit women. The movement brainwashed women to beliving that they where responisble for themselves and that men where not responsible for providing them. It was a brainwashing technique which told women the having conservative dress was MAN MADE SOCIAL SHACKLES used to keep them in line. By doing this the perverts got the women to take off their scarves, hats, long skirts, dresses, and femine clothing, and replace them with something males found more sexually appealing tank tops and short shorts. Basially the womens movement reduced women to peices of meat. Peices of meat that men can gawk at for hours, and play with all they want becuase all social rules which dignified women, are shackles, and the shackles where removed. If a girl stays a virgin then she is being victimized by the evil males who want to control her sexuality, and if she gives it up to the men, then she is liberated. lol. What Insanity. What horrid heartless backwardness. truley the work of Jewery. Western Society is one of the most inhuman, heartless, mysogonistic and perverse societies that man has ever known. The Fatser this Mysogonistic, heartless society is destroyed the better. Women fell like prostitutes if men support them. but if men dont support them and just use them for sex, its okay?
No wonder so many western women are turning to Islam, they want their honour back , they want to be treated like humans again.

oh well may god have mercy on the west, and save them before they destroy themselves

Libyan Warrior( KING OF AL-ANDLUS) said...

Yo Adam, yo post is off the hizzle fo shizzle my nizzle. how many hitz of that dizzle dizzle did u sizzle before you posted the sweat nidle grizle?

If u wannz to cheek out my blogizzlz, thatz super coolizl, they are of tha hizzie fo shizze my nizze. good long out.

Chris in MB said...

hey libyan warrior it's not very romantic of you to mix politics with love!

Just for that little indiscretion...

I now proclaim myself as the most romantic guy here.

Anyone, feel free to question me & I'll bless you with my vast knowledge of the subject.

:P

Nomad said...

hi Highlander

I don' agree with LW with his views on women liberation movment

I suggest him to look at suffragettes history !

the way wertern women look like, is not men choices,
in that case, they would prefer them in old fashion clothes, or may-be like muslin women.

though, wertern women do not agree with the advertising ways of showing them to sell cars, or any other goods with nothing on or scarcely dress on.

as far as loving comportments, in France, it is the the western average, but a little less agressive as in US.

Men can talk to women without fearing a court pursuit.

and strong feminist movments have no real success

Women and men enjoy flirting, even if that doesn't end with a loving affair

gifts are not refused, only from men who are doing harassment

we do not disdain a Macho, if he is tender and clever when loving

we let the men having the first role in society, though everyone knows it is an appearance, (it explains also why so few women are interested in politic)

our power is in love affairs or at home, family, decoration, culture, leasures organisation...

Highlander said...

Programme_Craig :) it must be so difficult to fall in love in the US if every method of spoiling is suspect....

Adam thanks for the link about Fizzy stuff - what are your thought on love ?


LW interesting thoughts you have about love, but why oh why the political slant ?

Chris in this thread I guess you win the 'most romantic' cup ;)

Nomad :) bienvenue on my blog , I know you read it but I'm doubly glad you commented now !

programmer craig said...

Programme_Craig :) it must be so difficult to fall in love in the US if every method of spoiling is suspect....

There are a couple methods that are not suspect but I can't tell you because it's haram :P

It's really not that hard, people who don't see such things the same way tend not to last long in a relationship anyway. I'm just exaggerating. A little :)

Highlander said...

Programmer_Craig please please tell me these methods - give me a tip :P

programmer craig said...

Eh... you're just teasing me now :P